Archive for December, 2009

How many of you have a favorite dry cleaners, plumber, landscaper, restaurant?  What keeps you coming back?  What inspires you to tell all of your friends?

As I was preparing to write this article I began reflecting on the people I do business with and the one’s that seem to stand out from the crowd as providing memorable service.

We have a contractor whose name is Brian.  You can set your clocks to him.  If he says he will be there at 8a.m. by goodness he is walking in our door at 8a.m.  If he estimates that the job will take no more than three days he makes that so.  His word is his bond.  Not only does he do great work he always brings an upbeat attitude and is always looking out for our best interests.

You may recall from an earlier article about Troy, the owner of my local butcher shop and deli, treats each of his customers as if they are part of his family.  He will always come up to me and say:  “Just got this new product in – you have got to try it.  Here take one as my gift”   or “Hey Nikki I have created a new barbeque sauce here is some brisket have some.  If he see’s me waiting in line he will always open another cash register so that I do not have to wait.  His primary focus is to “wow” me and every time I walk into his store he accomplishes his mission.

Inspired by some of the small business owners, as demonstrated above, I have asked myself:  What could I provide my current clients that would be memorable?  It is fascinating that when you ask the right question all sorts of ideas come to mind.

Lately I have found that many of my clients are interested in re-examining their core values, purpose, mission, and vision.  Even though these services were not “contracted” for when we began our work together since I seem to have some gifts in this area I have freely offered to help my clients with these processes.  What would take most consulting firms several months to accomplish the task I have been able to help facilitate the clarification needed within a few phone conversations and an exchange of several e mails.

In the process of looking for how I could be value added and provide memorable service to my clients I have discovered a new service offering that Starquest could provide.  This might become a profit center in the future.  For now it becomes one of the ways that I can distinguish myself as memorable in the minds of my customers.

As a parent it is a really cool moment when one of your sons in discussing his career options mentions that his primary focus is to choose a path that offers an opportunity to learn, grow, and have high impact on the world we live in.

When I first found out, six years ago, that my son within a 24 hr. period of time decided to join the army I was initially massively triggered (overwhelmed with feelings of fear, distraught, shame, and helplessness).   Yet as we, as parents, reflect back on our son’s military experience we both agree that it was absolutely the most beneficial experience he could have had.

Many times I think I know what is best for my sons lives.  They make right turns when I fervently believe a left turn is appropriate. Yet each of my boys is carving out a life that still reflect deeply held values that I hold dear.  Somehow they have evolved despite my neurosis and fears.

You see I am a bit of a fraud.  I tell all of my clients that you can not compare yourselves to other parents yet I find myself, from time to time, falling prey to that seduction.  I then regain consciousness and remember to practice interrupting these self defeating  thoughts,

 Beneath the senseless mind chatter is a deeper and more abiding truth:   I am proud to have a relationship to these two fine young men that I am privileged to call my sons.

I am on a special diet in which I am doing my best to eliminate unhelpful carbohydrates. One of my favorite places to eat is Mimi’s café. The problem with Mimi’s is that they have such wonderful breads, muffins, and potatoes that usually come with every meal. When I go to Mimi’s I have to be very intentional about what it is I order.

I have negotiated an arrangement with the manager. I now have a special dish that I pre order over the phone. It is not on their menu. I have 3oz of carved turkey, ½ order of baby green lettuce, some cilantro, and a ½ of sliced avocado. They charge me less than $6.

Everyday that I am at home I go to Mimi’s for my “special lunch”.

All of the ingredients for my special lunch are found somewhere on their menu I just re organized the items so that it could work for my dietary intentions.

Peak performers might have similar data as lower achievers: A missed putt, a strikeout, a traffic jam etc. It is how that data is organized in our minds that determines the meaning we ascribe to the situations we face. The meaning ascribed will drive our subsequent behavior and attitudes which will produce a particular kind of result.

The Peak performer might interpret the missed putt as an opportunity to be more diligent in their putting practice later that evening. The lower achiever might interpret the missed putt as evidence that they really do suck at golf.

When I have the opportunity to speak to sales groups I mention that high performing sales people look at the results they achieve as data points. Lower achieving sales people tend to look at their results as defining points.

Results are just results. Data is just data. Ingredients on the menu at any restaurant are just ingredients. It is how we choose to organize this information in our minds that determines our joy, success, fulfillment, and especially a custom designed meal at Mimi’s.

A recent article in the Wall Street Journal detailed a psychological phenomenon, entitled the “Confirmation Bias,” which explained in that context why people make and hold on to the investments that they do. 

About 35 years ago, during my Experimental Psychology class at San Jose State University, I spent an entire semester studying a similar thesis. It was called the Experimenter Bias process.  Drawing from a resource written in 1966 entitled the Rosenthal Effect, I set up an experiment to demonstrate the impact that experimenter bias had on the actual outcome of the experiment.  

The Rosenthal Effect demonstrated the impact of teachers’ expectations on student performance as measured by reading scores.  There were two experimental groups and one control group.  In one of the groups, the teacher was told prior to the semester that the students in her class were particularly gifted.  One teacher was told that the students in her class were developmentally slower than the rest of the school population.  The final teacher was not given any instruction regarding the nature of her class.  As you might suspect the teacher who was told that her students were gifted ended up having reading scores by the end of the semester that were significantly higher than the teacher that was not given any pre-instruction.  The teacher who was told that her students were developmentally slower ended up having reading scores that were significantly lower than the teacher that was considered part of the control group.  The control group teacher had reading scores that fell in a normal distribution. 

In my experiment, I demonstrated that people who believed strongly in extra sensory perception (ESP) got better results with the same population of subjects than those who believed that ESP was not possible.

One of our clients, Robyn the CEO of Intellisource, requested that I write an article about the Confirmation Bias. Since then, I have noticed daily evidence of this dynamic which further illustrates the power of this process.  A few days ago, I was facilitating a mid-management meeting at a client’s office in Houston. One team member was worried that another team member, who was tasked to develop a new technology platform for operations, did not have the expertise necessary to make intelligent and informed decisions.  The member who was worried began asking a series of questions without waiting for a complete response before firing off the next question. 

His facial expression was agitated and his voice rapid and intense.  The recipient of these rapid fire questions was nervous in his response anticipating that no matter what answer he gave, he would not satisfy his worried friend.  The worried leader clearly viewed the other person’s pauses as signs that he did not know what he was doing.  I finally interrupted what appeared to be a Perry Mason trial and suggested that our worried friend had a statement to make that was masked by the litany of questions being asked. 

After some coaching he finally stated, “I am afraid that if you do not include expertise in warehousing then the software you subsequently design will not meet all of our needs.” The expert in technology then responded, “I felt that no matter what I had said to you, that it would not satisfy your needs.  As a matter of fact, in my last position I had hired an expert in warehousing and we designed a customized solution that subsequently won awards.”  He went on to say that prior to making any definitive decisions he would bring his findings to the leadership team for their final input and counsel. 

Whatever we look for with great intent we are sure to find.  There is a part of the brain referred to as the reticular activating system.  This part of the brain acts as a pre text. Have you ever decided to buy a new car?  You lock into the style, color and make of the car that you want.  You then drive on the freeway and the world is infested with them.

We have often stated at seminars that it is much more effective to influence someone’s focus rather than attempting to manage their behavior.  What occurred this past weekend might challenge that proposition. 

Burton, my business partner, and I were facilitating a two-day teambuilding program at a lovely resort in Bellingham.  During one of our lunch breaks we were talking with the CEO and president of the company when suddenly it appeared that the president was quite triggered by the restaurant manager. 

She proceeded to tell us that the manager had been very arrogant, condescending, extremely inflexible in dealing with her, and how abrupt he had been with her during preparation meetings prior to the retreat. I noticed that as she spoke about her experiences with the manager, my business partner began looking at him with a jaded view.  When Burton ordered lunch, I noticed he was not his usual jovial self and was somewhat influenced by what our client had shared.  The manager seemed a little bit fast paced as Burton mentioned to our client “I think I see what you mean.” 

As our client was speaking, I noticed that her face became very rigid and appeared unapproachable.  Because we had just completed a module in the morning session about recognizing the impact of our triggered states on how we perceive situations and navigate accordingly, I thought it would be timely and appropriate to challenge our client. 

After taking her through the process of uncovering the origin of her triggered state, I encouraged her to consider the possibility that the manager was in pain about something that had absolutely nothing to do with her.  I further suggested that she was a very powerful and commanding presence and her facial expression, when triggered, sent a very clear message to people around her.  I advised her to imagine that he is a little boy who just found out that his mother was ill and in the hospital. 

Burton, overhearing the conversation, had realized that he had “bought into” our client’s triggered state and was beginning to find evidence to support it.  Burton immediately shifted his approach in dealing with the gentleman and noticed him to be very cooperative. 

By the end of our weekend program, the president shared her breakthrough with the team.  She said that throughout the course of the weekend she had subsequently had many conversations with the restaurant manager and noticed that as she changed her opinion about him and his true intentions, she began to soften her tone and approach. The manager subsequently appeared to transform his demeanor in her presence.    By the time we left the resort, we all commented on how superb the food service was.  

At the end of every program Burton and I conduct for organizations, we end with quite a lengthy quote from Goethe.  The first few lines of the quote were especially meaningful to a few of us who witnessed this transformation:  “I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element.  It is my personal approach that creates the climate and my daily mood that makes the weather.” 

By changing how people occur to us, we invite them to show up differently in our presence.

 You would not know there was supposed to be a recession by looking at the waiting area at Mimi’s restaurant on a Sunday morning.  There was a 45 minute wait for a table.  Now I don’t know about you but I do not enjoy waiting to be seated and then waiting a long time to be served.  That is not my idea of a good time.  So I have created an alternative. 

One of the advantages of having a business partner that is a true catalyst for transformations is that, from time to time, I actually listen to his counsel.  He always challenges me to consider the possibility that what appears to be the way it is does not have to be that way for me.    In the face of brick walls he sees places to walk through.  In the face of what seems to be a 45 minute wait for everyone else he finds away to be seated immediately. 

Now I am not quite as bold as my partner however I have taken his wisdom to heart.  I have created a sort of “partnership” with one of their managers.  I have a special diet which means that my order is not found on their menu.   I have one of three different meals (all of which include items that exist on their menu however are rarely combined).   Since, when I am not on the road, I go to Mimi’s frequently I wanted to create a user friendly way of getting exactly the meal that I want, wait no more than a couple of minutes to get it, and then take it home with me so that I can eat by the side of my pond rather than in a noisy restaurant. 

Ed, the manager, and I have created an arrangement.  We have identified the three different meals that I am likely to order.  Given each one a “name” and an agreed upon price and posted the entries on a separate card titled:  Nikki’s Meals.  When I call in an order I refer to Nikki’s meals and tell them which number I want.  They let me know how long it will take.  I leave the house at such a time that all I do is walk in with the exact amount (including a generous tip) pick up the bag of lunch and go back home. 

I have repeated this same process with several institutions that I do business with.  In other words I am creating what I want on my terms rather than being subservient to the status quo. 

Consider in today’s ecconomic environment what possibilities exist for you that your current mindset can not see.  Life does not have to be a struggle if you have the willingness to think outside the norm